The word confounds us. Terrifies us. Inspires us. Causes us to recoil in disgust, fear or embarrassment. Leads us toward big changes & growth. It rips us open at the seams. We are raw. Bleeding. Re-birthed & naked.
We both want it, crave it, desire it & fear it, run from it, hide from it, bury it deep, deep down inside of us.
The word invokes so many emotions in so many ways in so many people. So similar & yet so different for each of us.
For me: Shame with hints of fear of being 'enough' & a side of 'you got this.'
I have created around me a safe little sparkly rainbow bubble of truth pieces that I share with the world. This website... All of the information I share on social media... What I say when I meet people or talk to people in person... Truth tid-bits. Grains of truth sand. Wisps of truth on the breeze. Whispers of my soul's true essence.
Outside: I put a happy, smiley, perfect & successful mask on that I then proudly display to people in the world. I am brave, strong, intelligent, accomplished! I know my shit! I shine my bright light! I cry my warrior cry! I am a leader of empowerment!
Inside: I worry, cry, hide my head in shame, yell wildly with anger & fret about the what-ifs & coulda-shoulda-wouldas in the depths of my being. The little girl within me peaks out from behind her story book & decides today is not the day to go outside & play.
So what is my truth that I fear sharing with the world? So, so much. I am struggling with health issues, sexual issues, emotional issues, relationships, issues around my happiness & desires & goals.
To dictate & write them all down here for you to share with me, learn with me, heal with me & grow with me is my goal. I will no longer hide behind the shame of truth. I will no longer struggle to 'fit' into the mold I myself have placed upon me for the sake of society as a whole.
Will you open your hearts & join me on this journey to truth. Raw. Real. Authentic. Heart-wide-open. Gut-spilling. Truth?
I only ask that you come with no opinion, no judgement, no shaming or blaming for what spills out & what I'm just not yet ready to share.
I ask for a safe place of holding space for what comes. I ask with gratitude & blessings. I ask with love & compassion for your truth & your story. This is the beginning of mine:
There once was a girl who was afraid to shine... <3